Wednesday, July 9, 2014
Am I Worth More on Productive Days?
Yesterday was a VERY PRODUCTIVE day for me. I really like productive days.... I feel good about what I get done. I feel pleased with myself for what I have done. I feel like I can hold my head up just a bit higher - not in pride, but not needing to be ashamed either. I feel a sense of being worth more on those days.
1. Up and dressed before any of the family
2. Spent time with the Lord and in prayer -
before anyone was up.
3. Made a breakfast casserole - again, before anyone was up...... Turned on the music to wake up the family in a nice way and called everyone to a nice hot breakfast.
(By the way, this is not a brag fest... hang in there with me to see where this is going....)
6. Made 3 large loaves of homemade bread using the really strong kefir in place of the water. The dough was different and looked odd, but the bread tastes really good.
These have been sitting for about 10-14 days and are ready to strain and bottle for use.
New kombucha was started and put into the pantry to sit for another 10-14 days, when we will do it all over again.
All of these things were done and the kitchen was almost all cleaned up by 11:00 am. Like I said, it was a very productive morning..... Can you see why I felt so pleased? For lunch, rather than fixing something, we ate banana bread ..... it was good and we all loved it. For supper, we ended up buying pizza since my energy was gone and I really hadn't done much of anything all afternoon. Neither meal was actually "healthy", but that's okay once in a while.
Today, I was up to see my husband off and get the day started, but oh, how I wanted to go back to bed. By 10:00 this morning, I couldn't stay up any longer.... and I went to bed..... and slept soundly for 2 hours and stayed in bed for 2 more. You see the thyroid and adrenal fatigue issues that I have mean that I have no reserves, so when I overdo it, I pay a price. I have to budget my energy. Today, I was REALLY tired..... and wasn't able to be productive until about 3:00 PM! I spent today's energy - yesterday, so it wasn't available to me today.
I used to have many days like yesterday, where I would zip through the day and through my "to do list" and feel so good about myself and about my day and I was truly seeking to honor the Lord by fulfilling my responsibilities. My husband was generally pretty pleased and since I was quite the "super woman", he would ask me to do something more.. and I did. When tired, I could keep going.... after all, I was serving the Lord..... and I really was, BUT..... things were out of balance.
I have to admit that I FEEL like I am worth more when I work so hard and have a lot to show for it. Sometimes, I think I have felt that GOD loves me more on days like that...... but that is very wrong thinking. God loves me..... on days I DO a lot......and on days when I do a little..... or on days when I am sick and get *gasp* NOTHING done. His love does not depend on what I do.
So.... can I enjoy getting a LOT done? YES! Should I get my self-worth from that? NO! God loves me.... and I want to honor and serve Him.... I need to be careful that I am not out of balance. Do you struggle with feeling better about yourself when you get a lot done... or when you win something... or when you have succeeded? Maybe we need to get our security from knowing that God loves us..... and not from our own performance. He is the same yesterday and today and forever..... and He is the One we need to trust.... not our own ability.
Thank you for visiting.... I hope you have a very good day...
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