Tuesday, February 17, 2015

The Beauty of Being "Known"


My husband brought this rose home... I am enjoying the soft delicate pink color. I know that many people like the dark dark red roses.... and he has given me many of those over the years-not often, but now and then. I appreciated them, but something about those dark, almost black velvety roses grew tiresome for me. When asked, I expressed a preferance for pink roses... dark or light pink... or peachy pink.... or creamy pink two toned..... or yellow... or light red... or something other than dark red, but dark red was the main color I received... and they were beautiful and I enjoyed them.  Sometimes there would be a few roses... and a few pinks among the reds and sometimes just yellow or pink.
 Don't get me wrong.... I appreciated any of the roses he brought...and I told him so. This one is special though, because... he gave me something that I really like.... rather than what he wants me to like... or what he thinks I should like or what he knows is the color "they" say, is the love flower.

This gift went way beyond the flower... and the sweet baby's breath with it.... this one said that he knows ME... and gave a gift to me, for me. Precious.
 See.... the deep red roses are the flowers of "love"... so he was expressing his love to me and I am thankful.... but when he knows me and gives me a flower... in a color that HE wouldn't choose, but does because he knows I like it... well, that is special and I feel much more loved as a result. Silly, huh?  You know what else is funny? I enjoy those dark red roses so much more now, if they come... or any other color... or none at all... because he knows me more than he used to... and expresses that love sometimes. If I had all pink roses, I am sure I would get tired of them... I guess I enjoy variety also.

It takes time to get to know someone... and marriage is a good place to do that, but sometimes we shy away from being real... from expressing strongly what our desires are... and try to just please our mate. That isn't all bad... but it does make it harder for our mate to really know us.  At the same time, life isn't all about "me"... and it would never be right to expect a list of my likes to be consulted before any gifts are given... that would be silly. Marriage takes a lot of work... of negotiating.... of learning... of caring and adjusting... of loving... no matter what.

I have had to learn many things about my husband over the years... he does NOT like saurkraut.... gets nauseated from the smell. The kids and I like saurkraut... and it is so good for us. Early on in our marriage, I helped him to eat in a more healthy way... and he found he likes more than just the foods he thought he would like. There were a few though... saurkraut, sweet potatoes, and more... that he hated. Some he has adjusted to... others he tolerated.... he has recently said he loves sweet potatoes. :) I don't cook them with sugar and marshmallows, but rather just as baked sweet potatoes with butter and cinnamon... or sweet potato casserole with pineapple, butter, cinnamon, onions and apples....and he liked that, but it took years before he realized... he "loved" sweet potatoes. :)  Saurkraut will never fall into that category... and I stopped trying a long time ago. We have saurkraut for lunch when he is at work and when the smell will be totally gone before he gets home.

I did not want to have a budget early in our marriage... I resisted it.... and he insisted. I didn't like it... but finally grudgingly went along with the idea.   I finally gave it a chance... and found that a budget was so freeing. I had thought it would mean that I would be restricted even more than I already was... but found that knowing exactly how much I would receive for the time frame... was very freeing. I found that I liked knowing what the parameters were of what I needed to work with for groceries, household expenses, clothes, etc instead of him just giving me some money to use and having to ask him if there was enough for this or that.

We keep learning... and accepting.... and loving .... and growing. I am thankful for the beautiful pink rose... but even more than that, I am thankful that my husband showed he loves ME... in a sweet and special way.  God loves us even better than that... and His love is always perfect. Do we always see or recognize it? No, but we should... and we need to look for it... and we will find it if we look.



Shared on:

Counting Our Blessings
Modest Mom Monday
Soul Survival
Art of Homemaking Monday
Wednesday Prayer Girls
A Return To Loveliness
Mostly Homemade Monday

52 comments:

  1. I totally agree...Our 41st anniversary was yesterday...and we know each other so well...and it is such a gift! Know me through and through, blemishes and all and loving me anyway...Thanks for linking to Tuesday Cuppa Tea!
    Ruth

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    1. That is beautiful!... It is also becoming rare in our world of divorce and no marriage/no commitment... it is a real blessing. Thank you for visiting. :)

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    2. By the way.... Happy Anniversary!!!! :) 41 years is a great accomplishment and blessing.

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  2. Beautiful post and pictures. I enjoyed reading your post. Thank you.

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    1. Thank you... I am so glad you visited... it was nice to have you. :)

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  3. Hi GentleJoy,
    Your pink rose is just my favourite colour too. Your hubby is so thoughtful and kind. Beautiful words and post. Happy Tea Day! Karen

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    1. It is a fun color... I sure appreciated it and the thought behind it. Thank you for visiting.... :)

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  4. Beautiful Pink Rose! Pink is a favorite of mine also, but I love all roses. Visiting from Roses of Inspiration.

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    1. Yes, I am enjoying it... Thank you for visiting... it was nice to have you. :)

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  5. I really enjoyed this and the rose is beautiful. So thoughtful of him.
    Your words about marriage are so very true...it takes time to get to really know each other and in these days that some marriages last for a little longer than a month, we need to daily appreciate this special gift we have and keep working and praying for grace to keep loving, seeking, discovering and knowing. With Him, all things are always possible.

    41 years in marriage? That is no mean feat and I pray both Ruth W and husband experiences more blissful years in love, peace, good health and prosperity.

    Love your blog.

    Visiting from Roses of Inspiration Linky.

    Do enjoy the rest of your week.

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    1. What a beautifully sweet comment... thank you so much. I agree, 41 years is a wonderful amount of time.... and I hope they continue it for many more years. Thank you for visiting... it was wonderful to have you. :)

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  6. Red roses are actually my least favorite, love the other colors. Your pink is lovely.

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    1. Wow... I haven't heard that before! I love so many of the colors, but I have tired of the very dark red. :) Thank you for visiting.

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  7. I love soft pink and white roses and my hubby always tries to get me those. But once in a while he will bring home deep red or yellow and that's OK too. I married my very best friend and after more than forty years of marriage I can honestly say I love him more now than when I married him. I would do it all over again. We really do know each other well and we are blessed that way. God brought us together and my mother didn't approve. It took her forty years to discover he really is as wonderful as I always knew he was. But sadly, my mother and I missed out on a relationship because of it. It was only recently that she admitted her mistake and I am so thankful that she finally saw how precious this man in my life is. Now when we visit her she can smile and laugh at the things he says. She loves him now too. God gave us a miracle just in time. Thank you for sharing today and joining me for tea.

    Blessings,
    Sandi

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    1. That is an amazing story! I am so glad God is healing the brokenness... and that you can enjoy time together now w/ your mom... Also... more than 40 years of marriage is wonderful!!! I am so glad for you. Thank you for visiting. :)

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  8. What stunning photos of this lovely pink rose. My hubby give me all colors too but there is just something about the softness of that color...and when they dry, they have such a wonderful vintage color. Beautiful post!

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    1. Thank you... I didn't even think about drying it... good idea. :) I am so glad you visited.

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  9. How pretty! Most of the roses on my teacups are the same delicate pink colour.

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    1. It is pretty.... I love the delicate soft color. :)

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  10. What a lovely rose and sweet cup and saucer!

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  11. That is so precious! Reminds me of my husband & I.

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    1. Thank you.. so glad to have you visit. :)

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  12. The flower is beautiful, and you're right it is more special when you choose a gift that someone wants instead of what you want is a special gift.

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    1. It is a beautiful flower... and the gift is double... once as a flower... and once as a treasuring of me. :) Thank you for visiting.

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  13. Hi: That color Rose is perfect, even better that it is your favorite. What a wonderful thing for your hubby to do. Sending hugs your way, Martha

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    1. It sure has been enjoyed here! :) Thank you for visiting.

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  14. Lovely! Visiting from Sincerely Paula's No Rules Blog party. My favorite color of rose is white. That pink one is very pretty.

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    1. Thank you... that pink is really delicate and pretty.... so glad you visited.. :)

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  15. My sweet man gave me some orange roses--they are stunning. Loved you photos and sharing some sweet thoughts your relationship with you husband.

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    1. They sound lovely! Thank you for your sweet comment... it was a joy to read. :)

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  16. I do love the fact that we know each other so well after many years of marriage but also thankful we still surprise each other every now and then :) I also prefer the pink over the red flowers!

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    1. It really is a blessing... and an ongoing process. I have been surprised at how many women enjoy the pink flowers over the red... especially since it seems that "everybody" loves red better. :) Thank you for visiting.

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  17. Such a lovely post, my dear :) My husband has always enjoyed surprising me with roses and since the time we started dating he would learn the name and meaning of the roses that he gave me.

    Thanks for sharing at ROI. Enjoy your weekend! Hugs

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    1. Wow, that sounds precious... finding the name and meaning of the rose he gives you. Fun. :) I hope your weekend is wonderful also!

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  18. Such an endearing post! You're right: there's nothing more loving that having our husband show how much they know us. There's no need for a grand gesture or an expensive gift; it's in the little things that truly count. Thank you for sharing!

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    1. Oh, I so agree! Thank you for sharing this... so nice to have you visit today. :)

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  19. Such a beautiful shade of pink and the beauty of your words share a story that is so real...we need to be real. Especially with our husbands. I am blessed that I am able to be that with him. And best of all...I cannot hide from God for He knows me far better than I know myself. So, with God, I am in school and I love this school. As I grow to be more like Christ, I feel closer to God.
    Thank you.
    Caring through Christ, ~ linda

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    1. Very nice comment.... thank you for your words and for visiting. :)

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  20. I find it interesting how people change in a marriage. Things that you thought was set in stone change over time. The rose is really pretty, but I'm sure you are going to remember the thoughtfulness a lot longer than the rose. #ThrivingonThursday.

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    1. You are certainly right about that... that is what makes the rose special. :) Thank you for stopping by.

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  21. Aww, this is so lovely! And what a beautiful rose.

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    1. Thank you... I'm so glad you stopped in with your sweet comment. :)

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  22. Just beautiful, thank you for taking the time to share this precious post at Good Morning Mondays. Blessings

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  23. This was so special and so true Joy! That is how I feel about my husband when he brings me home certain things instead of the "famous romantic" things that the world says is special. Thanks you for sharing these sweet sentiments and marital wisdom.

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  24. I've had to learn how to do this with pies for my husband. 😃 Wonderful post!

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